My Weight Loss/Fitness Journey

That's me.  At my heaviest.  A whopping 250 pounds or so.  I don't think I paid attention in the end how much I weighed b/c I really didn't want to know.  Granted, I'd just had a baby.  Like, literally, just. had. a. baby.  But still.  That was a lot of weight to gain.  I knew I did not want to continue down that path.  I was miserable.   And now I had three kids.  How was I possibly supposed to keep up with them being this large?  

I was horrified when I got these pictures back and saw myself. I'm the one in the blue and gray.  Not the one holding my newborn.  (I know.  I look a lot like my sister.)  How could I have let this happen?  I had given myself one month after Jack was born and then I was taking my life back.  I couldn't wait to get started.

This was me, one month after having Jack, ready to start losing weight.  At this point, I'd already lost about 20 pounds.   And to think, I was pretty pleased at the time that I could fit into those jeans.  ;)

I did a short 21 day round of Omni drops and dropped 17 pounds.   

Did another round a few months later and lost another 15-20 pounds but I didn't finish out the round so I gained a little of that back.  I managed on my own to lose another 10 pounds or so over the course of the year and then was just floundering.  The drops work great!  For those that can stick to it.  I craved sugar so badly I cheated way too often.  

And then I began to get migraines (not related to the drops).  I went to the doctor and was put on Topomax.  The doctor told me a side effect was loss of appetite.  Um, ok!  Fine by me.  I dropped 13 pounds in 6 weeks.   I quit drinking pop immediately b/c it changed the way it tasted for me.  It tasted so nasty I haven't had a drop since.  It also curbed my sugar cravings.  And while I was happy to see weight falling off, I became so tired and was not myself.  I was simply not getting enough calories to keep up my energy.  I couldn't think.  I could barely lift my arms at the end of the day to shampoo my hair.  But the weight loss made the numbers on the scale go low enough I saw the light at the end of the tunnel.  And I got used to the medication.  The fog lifted.  I started eating again.  

And then my friend, Jill, texted me.  Lit Fitness is doing a 6 week challenge.  You should apply.  I was seeing weight fall off already so I didn't think I needed any help at the moment.  She and I butt heads often about weight loss.  But what could it hurt.  It said lose 20 pounds for free.  I needed to lose 20 pounds and I like free.  I applied to shut her up.  And then I had to answer questions.  Like, why did I want to do this?  What would losing this weight mean to me?  It suddenly wasn't about shutting her up anymore but was about changing my life.  And I wanted it.  I wanted it bad.  

I'd come pretty far already.  But I still have a long ways to go.  Like 50 pounds.  So what WOULD that mean to me?  It would mean I could feel like people aren't staring at me in disgust anymore.  It would mean I don't have to feel bad for the person sitting next to me on an airplane.  Like I could pick up a morsel of food and put it in my mouth without being judged.  It would mean I could play with my kids.  When they want to play around outside, like REALLY play, I can play with them.  I can run around for more than a few seconds and not be puffing and out of breath.  I can fit in the swings at the park.   I can be active WITH them, not just watching from the sidelines.  I don't want to be THAT mom.  You know the one you see.  The fat one sitting on the bleachers yelling at their son or daughter to run faster, hit the ball, make the goal, stick the landing, etc.  I want to be the mom who is out there practicing along side my kids.  Being an example of what fitness is.  To show them that they can accomplish anything they put their mind to.  Andrew and Katie are old enough they'll be able to remember mommy going through this transformation.  And I hope they do.  I'm doing it for them.  For myself.  For Daniel.  But mainly for them.  Do you you what it feels like to have your little ones ask you if you can get skinny so you can play with them?  I do.  It's heartbreaking.  It's embarrassing.  It's hurtful.  It's eye opening.  I want to be around for them.  I want to play with them.  I want to be a part of their lives, not just a bystander.  

I got the call, I was accepted.  

Now, keep in mind, I'm lazy.  I have a low pain tolerance, I am a very picky eater and I'm the queen of excuses.  

I started at the gym, the "blue turf" on a Monday.  It's not your average gym.  We have Cornell, our trainer.  It's Circuit Training.  And it's awesome.  I was so sore after the first 2 days all I could do was cry every time Jack touched me or wanted me to pick him up on the 3rd day.  With Charge (thank you Omnitrition) and keeping my protein up and continuing to move and stretch, I was back in the gym on the 4th day.   The Challenge was to lose 20 pounds in the 6 weeks.  But it was also to learn how to set small goals for myself.  To learn how to eat healthy.   I have never been more focused or committed to anything in my life.  I was quite frustrated to not lose anything the first 2 weeks.  I learned I needed to UP my calories.  WHAT?  How am I supposed to LOSE weight by eating MORE?  But I trusted Coach (a.k.a. Greg) and did what he told me to do.  The next week, I lost 7 pounds.  Eating 1,200 calories a day.  I did not feel like I was starving.  I was enjoying the food I was eating.  In fact, it was FUN trying new things and getting a little creative.  

Then I hit another stall in my weight loss.  And I cried some more.  I hated food.  I was angry.  Frustrated.  Why was this so hard?  I was doing everything I was supposed to be doing?  WHAT?  I need to start eating MORE again?  300-400 MORE calories?  Oh boy.  Yep.  Weight started coming off again.  Because I was working out so much my body needed more calories to burn.  

I was so disappointed at first that I wasn't going to lose the 20 pounds in 6 weeks, but when I saw this side by side, holy cow!  That's quite a difference in just 6 weeks!  

I weighed in at 177 this morning.  That's a 73 pound weight loss in the last 17.5 months and a 13 pound weight loss in the last 5 weeks.  

So, what motivates me?  It finally clicked with me.  This is what I want and I'm not stopping until I get there.  I want to BE healthy.  I want to EAT healthy.  I want to be FIT.  It's a mindset.  Sometimes I don't FEEL like working out.  Sometimes I don't FEEL like running.  But if I skip once, it's easy to skip a second time.  And I can't let that happen.  I like the way I feel eating this way and treating my body better.  My mind is clearer, I'm excited about life again and I'm happy.  Andrew declared me 90-95% fun.  lol  

Remember when I said I'm lazy?  I'm a picky eater?  I have a low pain tolerance?  And I'm the queen of excuses? If I am those things, then NO ONE has an excuse.  No. One.  Because I overcame those things.   And you can too.  You can be an Overcomer!  NO MORE EXCUSES!!!  

"There are plenty of difficult obstacles in your path.  Don't allow yourself to become one of them." 

Ralph Marston